Needing someone holding me firmly, you
walking past me, me thinking of we, depending on forces beyond
thee, larger than our galaxy, opportunities and possibilities
presenting themselves before me, bellies and jewels frantically
dancing and shining dangerously in front of me, where is my
heavenly queen bee, someone to comfort me, holding hands softly,
kissing deeply and passionately, flirty and daintily you continuously
walking past me, you looking tasty, like candy, wouldn't it
be dandy if you said slowly yet clearly you've been observing
me silently, my mind growing hazy as I fall unconsciously, your
aroma strikes me fiercely, you're truly heavenly.
Thinking of you sends me into heat. With
your beautiful eyes and darling bare feet. One sparkles with
life, the other with the polish. You're my growing obsession,
that's what they call it. I dream that your lips taste so
sweet. Like ice cream, candy and other such treats. As a child,
I'd keep your picture in my wallet. I'd better slowdown, can't
burnout, better stall it. I like this season, and I want it
to last. Summer moves into fall too fast. I don't want this
warmth to change into ice. Dreaming of you is just too nice.
Holding on too tightly; feel my neck
tingle, growing faint, fatigued. Damn the pressure, feel it
begin, best to try and stay, not run, fear has begun to hold
me. I touch my face, feels coarse as sand as you stand before
me, watching, growing impatient due to my insecurity. Relax
I say, be at ease, trust in me. Wait. Who am I to chastise?
Fear publicly overwhelming me. I sense my knees, going wobbly.
Don't have the words to say, instead I pray, close my eyes as
you walk my way, glowing like a sun-drenched day. You touch
my hand, everything's ok, still don't have the words. No matter.
I stutter. Then icy fear begins to melt and shatter as I hold
you close. My heart rumbles like thunder, as you stand under
me. No domination that's you supporting and strengthening, lovingly.
At times I'm distant, though never far, left you wondering where
we are? I'm in my play land underneath your star, thoughts swirling
in a pint of Guinness at the bar. I'm only gone a little while,
as I relax on the floor, deep in thought, just time need a little
more. Answers escape me, questions downpour, fear flooding me
more and more. You feel left behind, don't fret you're never
far. I'm there, circling your perimeter, surveying the dilemma
swimming in my head, my tongue heavy lead. Silently admiring
you loving me as you sense I need to be. I'm sorry I can't always
take you with me, on my lonely journey. I'll be back, Silly.
You feel like home, warm and feathery, silky. My hands caressing
your skin, I taste you, deliciously heavenly. I can't speak
only kiss you and look into your eyes passionately. Fearing
your love drowning me, I consume it voraciously. I only step
away to breathe.
I sit and wait. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting
for something. Still nothing. Please something. Anything. Some
laughing and loving, no more losing and suffering. Still waiting.
Always waiting. Followed by learning, a lot of yearning, working,
earning, should be saving, too much spending. Not enough caring,
I'm losing feeling. Wait: Attention grabbing. Seeing something.
Desiring what I'm seeing. Thinking, prospecting, luring and
enticing. Winning, no more searching. I’m winning! We're
kissing, touching, grabbing, sucking and fucking. I’m
clenching. Still lasting and maintaining. Nope I’m screaming,
climaxing, now spilling and conceiving. We’re creating.
She's eating and eating. Oh, God! She's growing, bitching and
moaning. She’s crying, I’m stressing and whining
cause my savings depleting. Damn girl, stop eating! I’m
waiting, still waiting, always waiting. Lights flashing, I'm
panicking, nurses shouting, soul fighting, clinging, I'm begging,
no leaving, please God no dying, my life means nothing. Still
begging, I'm knowing, screaming, crying, pleading does nothing
its fleeting. Her heart's stopping. Wait: I’m just dreaming.
I’m awake sweating and gasping. Just dreaming. Morning
passing, sun rising, day coming and I’m awakening. Rising,
stretching, looking out, thinking. Now peeing, showering, brushing,
teeth receiving a cleaning and a gargling. Feels like I’m
always waiting. I’m stalling. Not winning but losing because
I’m waiting. Fear has me waiting.
As life changes me from boy to man,
my inner child makes one last stand. “Me, me, me.
Don’t forget about me”, he demands. For he’s
afraid that the fun will end, the joy of life for which
happiness depends. What to do as he’s flushed with
fear, causing shame and guilt to squash all cheer. How do
I give without expecting to receive? Will I get what I need
to believe? Will others drain my spirit and give me grayhair?
I’m so confused I’ll cause a scare! But the
man steps in take take control with ease, for his familiy
has needs to please. On him little ones will depend, to
show them happiness should never end. A beautiful loving
wife, who’s companionship ends lonely strife. She
needs a foundation to stand, as her security demands. She
needs to know when her body is creating, that Daddy will
stay with her hormonal tirading. When both their needs will
be on hold, but life will reward when they’re gray
and old. With time together and memories to share. With
grandchildren who’ll adore their gray hair.
